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Dear Michael,
i am writing to you because i am at loss at where to go from this moment. my husband has been in prison for only eighteen months. we expected he would be down for at least four years. we have three small children. one night i went out with some friends. i had sex with some other man. now he may get to come home early. i don't want to live a lie. but i don't want to loose him either. he has told me over and over that he will love me always no matter what. but i am terrified that what he said and what he meant were two different things. please help me to decide whats best for my family. i honestly couldn't see living a day in my life with out him. thanks, should've stayed home. Laci
Dear Laci,
Your question seems to be whether or not you should tell your husband that you had sex with another man while he was in prison.
Speaking as a married man who loves his wife, I feel that I would also love her “no matter what”. However, that doesn’t mean that I would not be devastated and heart broken if she told me that she had slept with another man. I’m not saying it would be quick or easy, but when the drama dust settled, I think I could find a way to forgive her and work through. Maybe I would try to understand her position, especially if I had left her alone to raise 3 small children while I was in prison. If I were to find out about it from a third source, it would add the elements of betrayal and distrust in the mix that would be much harder for me (as a man) to overcome in our relationship. On the other hand, I believe somewhat in the old adage “what you don’t know won’t hurt you”. You did say that he said he would love you always “no matter what”. You must decide whether he meant it. I talk more about this and other relationship situations in my book "How to Love & Inspire Your Man After Prison" by Michael B. Jackson. I wish you and your husband the best of luck. Do Good. mbj
3 comments:
my husband IS in prison. for the next 8 year. he gave me permission to do as i please.. and i did it once. i almost didn't tell him. i did, and he said that it didn't matter. the fact that i had no problem telling him and being honest is what he was looking for with the permission granted thing.
I firmly believe in honesty within a relationship bc a relationship will not work without it. My husband has been gone for over 3 years and the simple fact that I love him and cherish our relationship I have not even thought of being with another man still makes me sick, so I think you need to reevaluation your relationship.
I think u should not.tell men cant haddle it like woman do take it to tje grave n its been a year with my husband gone n I think about sleeping with another man n other nights im beating my self up n wanting him to just be home with me good luck this is very hard to deal with ur not alone
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